A wife was in bed with her lover when she suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of her husband unlocking the front door.
The lover panicked.
“What are we going to do?” he whispered.
The wife stayed surprisingly calm.
“Stay where you are,” she told him. “He’s so drunk he probably won’t even notice you’re here.”
A few moments later, the husband stumbled into the bedroom. He was clearly drunk, barely able to keep his balance, and somehow managed to climb into bed without realizing that another man was lying beside his wife.
The wife quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
For a few minutes, everything seemed fine.
Then the husband opened his eyes.
He stared toward the foot of the bed.
His expression suddenly changed.
“Hey!” he exclaimed. “There are six feet sticking out of this bed!”
He turned toward his wife.
“There should only be four! What’s going on?”
The wife didn’t panic.
Instead, she calmly replied, “Nonsense. You’re so drunk that you must have counted them wrong.”
The husband frowned.
“You think I counted wrong?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “Get out of bed and count them again. You’ll be able to see better from over there.”
The husband slowly climbed out of bed.
He stood beside the bed, looked down, and carefully began counting.
“One…”
“Two…”
“Three…”
“Four.”
He paused.
Then he nodded with complete confidence.
“Oh, okay. You were right.”
And just like that, he climbed back into bed.
The lover remained perfectly silent.
Apparently, the husband had forgotten one very important detail.
He counted the four feet sticking out of the bed…
But he never counted his own.
Sometimes being drunk doesn’t make a person see more.
It just makes the wrong answer look perfectly reasonable.
The Drunk Ice Fisherman
A drunk fisherman decided to spend the afternoon ice fishing.
The lake was completely frozen, and he had brought everything he needed. He wandered out onto the ice, found a good-looking spot, and began drilling a hole.
He had barely finished when a loud voice suddenly came from above.
“There are no fish down there.”
The fisherman froze.
He looked around.
There was nobody nearby.
He shrugged and decided to try another location.
He walked several yards across the ice, drilled another hole, and leaned over to look into the water.
Once again, the same voice came from above.
“There are no fish down there.”
The fisherman looked around again.
Still nobody.
Now he was beginning to get suspicious.
He moved even farther away.
About twenty yards later, he stopped, drilled a third hole, and carefully peered down.
Again, the voice boomed from above.
“There are no fish down there.”
This time, the fisherman looked toward the sky.
