He raised his hands and shouted:
“God, is that you?”
There was a brief silence.
Then the voice answered:
“No, you idiot.”
The fisherman looked confused.
The voice continued:
“It’s the rink manager.”
Apparently, the biggest problem wasn’t finding the fish.
It was realizing he had been drilling holes in the middle of an ice rink.
Sometimes the answer is much closer than you think.
The Drunk Driver
A police officer noticed a car weaving back and forth between the lanes.
The officer immediately pulled the vehicle over.
He approached the driver’s window and said politely, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”
The driver shook his head.
“Sorry, officer. I can’t do that.”
The officer raised an eyebrow.
“Why not?”
“I’m asthmatic,” the man explained. “If I blow into that thing, I could have a serious asthma attack.”
The officer sighed.
“Fine. Then I need you to come down to the station and give a blood sample.”
The driver immediately shook his head again.
“I can’t do that either.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m a hemophiliac,” the man replied. “If you take my blood, I could bleed to death.”
The officer was beginning to lose patience.
“Alright, then. We’ll do a urine sample.”
The driver shook his head for a third time.
“I’m sorry, officer. I can’t do that either.”
The officer stared at him.
“Let me guess. You have another medical condition?”
“Yes,” the driver said.
“What is it?”
“I’m diabetic. If I give a urine sample, my blood sugar could get dangerously low.”
The officer stood there for a moment, clearly running out of options.
Finally, he pointed toward a straight white line painted on the road.
“Alright,” he said. “Then I need you to step out of the vehicle and walk this white line.”
The driver looked at the line.
Then he looked back at the officer.
“I can’t do that either.”
The officer finally snapped.
“And why not?”
The driver sighed and gave him the simplest answer of the entire evening:
“Because I’m too drunk.”
After all those elaborate medical explanations, he finally admitted the obvious.
The officer probably wished he had started with that question.
